This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed)
So, the nice thing about a three day weekend is we come into the fresh new day like a wrecking ball. Full charged, all pent up, ready to burst, we just need to release. Funny enough, that phrasing could also be used to describe our main discussion point of this morning which involved giving up sex. In a poll that revealed some eyebrow raising stats, 60% of women said they would give up sex forever for a million dollars. Even when things like free pizza, a billion dollars exist and they're doing it for a million. I mean come on, it's free pizza! That sentiment was shared by a text who agreed on pizza as well as another who said a dream trip. As this segment sort of got broken up by a back and forth between two roadies, I'm doing a little creative reorganizing here for the sake of fluidity. Our spin on the topic was also changed from forever to a year because the sex pigs on this show can't be contained. Plus, it seems like "other stuff" is on the table in this scenario, just no penetration. So, posing the question to Abe, he said money. This was one of those classic Abe things where we got three different answers after a bit of thought. There was the initial million dollars which he kind of turned down, then five million was put on the table and he was open to that. That five then got blended down to someone putting a bag full of cash in front of him and him immediately taking the bag no questions asked (so the amount inside could have varied.) Angi took a more practical (if not magical) idea in saying she would do it to lose 20 pounds instantly. Like poof it's gone and then she waits until the year passes. As for the poor, forever suffering for eternity Jay the Straight, he would just have to deal with it. Abe, misunderstanding the assignment, per usual suggested he would help Angi lose 20 pounds for $100,000. Again, she wanted it gone with a genie finger snap and not effort because isn't that just the dream. As for myself, I would want what I consider a year's worth of Captain Morgan White because I can just keep myself sauced all day and not even consider banging. So, we hit the Request Line early on before doing a double dip when Angi asked Abe if he would give it up for a Bears Super Bowl win. Since he's had one in his lifetime, it falls onto the no pile but that can't be said for George, who checked in to say that he would. In fact, George would go two years without it for a win because he loves the Bears that much. He's such a fan, he has a Bears tattoo but more importantly, he would be known as the guy who got them a win when the timer runs out and he would pull so much tail. As an add on, if "other stuff" as I alluded to earlier was aloud, he's doubling down on his giving it up. As should be expected on this show, roadie Levi happened on to say that George is dumb. He would not give it up for anything and suggested that people willing to give it up aren't getting it anyway. All these people are probably ugly and shouldn't be banging anyway (God, the mindset.) As expected (because who didn't see this coming,) Levi said he'd forgo for a million bucks (because who wouldn't?) We closed out this twosome section by having George say it would take 10 Super Bowl wins in a row to give up sex forever. Onward to other roadies though, starting with Terry who said front row tickets to Metallica so he could spit on Lars (rude thoughtless little pig that he is) would be worth it for that. Tickets, in his mind, are way too overpriced (hard agree.) Mary confirmed the theory that tickets are overpriced (speaking of which, tune in to win Guns N' Roses tickets!) but she's giving it up for a personal trainer for a year to get her body back in shape. Abe was still hung up on Angi's 20 pound wish when Angi offered that Mary should take the genie weight loss route. Trashman Tim (uh oh) said that he would forgo (aka alleviate his wife from doing all the work) for a year if The Squirts were to win the 2023 Mount Greenwood softball championship. Andrea would do it to have her mortgage paid off (aiming low here people, ask for money!) Another Mary wanted great hair since hers is thin, wispy and graying. Angi suggested a wig and Abe suggested a hair club for (wo)men (which she's ironically already in.) Lastly, Kristen wanted a mommy makeover including tummy tuck and boob job. If you are looking for more roadie comments or have your own, hit up our FB group and read up or drop us a comment.
Other Stuff from Today's Show
With the weekend behind us, we normally tend to get a quick round up of what Angi & Abe did this past weekend. It seems that perhaps Angi did what I did (lay on the couch drinking and watching movies/TV shows/comedy specials) because she had nothing to add but we did get a double dose of Abe. While one was "traumatic" and the other was a good time waster (see stupid,) I'm here to archive and explore so let's get into it. So Abe had an incident yesterday while he was in the bathroom ... on the phone. I know what you're thinking, you assume so many things that could have gone wrong and honestly, it was so much worse. You see, he was chopping it up with a friend for 25 minutes and it was just awful. Dumping on people, talking smack, being an all around horrible human being with his friend and it turned out that he was on speaker and the friend's girlfriend heard the whole thing. That's right, they were in the car together and she heard it all without Abe's knowledge. The horror, the shock, get out those smelling salts. It was explained that when Jay the Straight calls, Angi will alert him to any presence in the room (Tawny Kitane be damned.) Since Abe was (rightfully) furious, Abe returned the favor by lighting up the unnamed friend on the radio. Angi was also furious (by proximity) and said that if you're ever on speaker, you tell people if there's anyone else there. Like if she Facetimes, she will mention the fact that Jay the Straight is crying in the corner, etc. Abe felt horrible about it all because the discussion was akin to the kind of things Angi & Abe say off air only it would have been like Walt was hiding behind the door (or was obscured by a small houseplant.) The rule of thumb is that if someone is listening, you act on your best behavior (which makes sense as these two are monsters) and furthermore especially if the third party is a stranger. Even worse, what if Abe had gone in on the girlfriend, imagine how that would have gone. The reiterated point here is that you NEVER EVER NEVER start a speaker call in the room with someone and don't announce another person in the room. For future reference, Abe will now just start saying stuff that will cause strife just in case anyone decides to pull a stunt like this on him in the future.
The other big Abe news from this weekend was Abe's girlfriend Cathy Tropicana decided to surprise him by taking him 2 and a half hours away to Geneseo which has the only old school Pizza Hut restaurant in the state. See, Abe lives in a bubble of nostalgia (The AV Boyz, drinking wine with Father O'Fondley, that Bloody Skull movie) and so the idea of playing NBA Jam and drinking out of red plastic cups appeals to him greatly. If you are looking to actually see this video, you can find it on all of Abe's social media (including his TikTok where it is blowing up) and our Angi Taylor Show Facebook Group. Inside is exactly what you remember if you were lucky as a kid and would go there like Abe did. Those old school lights, those gingham tablecloths, apparently salad but no salad bar because covid ruined that fun. As for the taste, the pizza is good according to Abe and served in a cast iron pan. Aside from making this wacky journey for the sake of nostalgia (and boredom,) it wasn't really worth it. Then again though and in a point I feel should be the real talking point here, nothing is really worth going two hours for. For example, today is Pączki Day but no one in their right mind should be waiting outside for two hours to get some. What you should have done was order them earlier in the week and get them over the weekend and then indulge today. Let's reiterate, nothing is worth waiting two hours for, NOTHING. Anyway, while there Abe also picked up a few souvenirs including a Pizza Hut jacket (which was too small,) sme red cups and a bunch of other junk that makes me suspect of his apparent "minimalist" approach. Though the jacket was a nice, beautiful gesture from Cathy (uh oh,) he probably wouldn't even wear it if it fit. It makes him feel like if he was to wear it, people would mistake him for their driver (and in turn really piss them off when he reveals that he has no pizza in his car, just a 40 ton gallon tub of mayo.) He will bring the jacket in for Angi to try on but he feels it would be too big for her, if only someone worked at the studio that it would be just right on. Outside of that though, there is nothing to do in Geneseo so if you're bored, like really bored, I mean BORED, then take a long journey down and go relive your nostalgia (or you know, order it at home and play make believe.)
Finally, in a move that should come as an absolute shock to no one, it turns out that teenagers hate driving. The no shock qualification is buried in the idea that the Gen Z kids aka Zoomers generally only seem to care about Youtube, TikTok and how to become an influencer so they can make money doing nothing. For Abe, according to him one of the greatest days of his teenage life was getting his permit at 16 and then his license at 17. After he was fully able to drive, he would drive around in his grandmas '88 Cavalier. However Zoomers, who are those kids born between 1996 and 2012, they just don't want it. This is nothing new as in 2018, 18 year olds who went to get their license dropped by 20% and has continued to drop year over year. The solutions are Uber, Lyft and public transportation are just so easy and prevalent to use. The thing though is this is not always an option, Angi would not let her daughter get in a ride share ride by herself at 16. Still though, her daughter is now 18 and she just doesn't care about it. When she was 18, Angi and her friends were stealing cars and picking up dudes and hot damn, the kids these days are truly missing out. Abe, being the stick in the mud though, capped us by saying he never stole cars because as we learned with Pizza Hut, he had a car he could use all the time (isn't that just cool?)
Request Wars 2.0
Champion: Angi (Streak: 3)
Angi's (repping Agnes) Song Choice: "Perfect" by Simple Plan
Abe's (repping The Creeper) Song Choice: "That Smell" by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Smack Talk Recap:
Abe is ready to rock and there is no better Skynyrd song. Also "that smell" is Angi's upper lip. Angi went completely on the other side of the spectrum. We said RIP to the 27 dead members of the Lynyrd Skynyrd. Some of the instruments have 3 dead people per instrument. They might all be dead soon. In other words, ignore Angi and vote for the dead people.
Winner: Abe
10 O'Clock Toast:
The Ladies of 2,000 Years Ago.
Archeologists found a 2,000 sex toy that was 6 and a half inches long. It looks like Bam Bam's bat from The Flintstones and probably was used as such (bam bam indeed!) Angi's assumption that these women were bored and needed a distraction while their men watched Sportscenter and Billy Bob's Poker Blog.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"If you don't want a license, you're probably not hanging out with a cool group." - Abe
PSA's:
PSAngi: You should never ever NEVER start a speaker call with someone in the room, you let them (the caller) know.